Midnight Fried Rice

PROCESS : Use leftover rice from the fridge that everyone ignored the whole day. Heat oil, add chopped garlic, onion, and literally any vegetables still alive in your kitchen. Toss in the rice with soy sauce, chili sauce, and black pepper. Stir aggressively like you’re arguing with your future. Top it with a fried egg if you want fake luxury.

Rainy Day Pakoda

PROCESS : Mix gram flour, salt, chili powder, and water until it becomes a thick batter. Add sliced onions and potatoes. Drop random-shaped blobs into hot oil because perfection is propaganda. Fry until golden brown and serve with tea while staring dramatically outside the window even if there’s no rain.

Power Cut Garlic Bread

PROCESS : Take regular bread because nobody has real garlic bread at home. Mix butter, crushed garlic, chili flakes, and coriander like a low-budget chef with high confidence. Spread it aggressively on the bread and toast it on a pan until the edges become dangerously crispy. Eat immediately before someone else in the house “just tastes one.”

Depression Deluxe Paratha

PROCESS : Take leftover sabzi nobody respected yesterday and stuff it into a paratha like you’re hiding evidence. Fry it with enough butter to temporarily silence your problems. Serve hot with curd and the false hope that tomorrow will be productive.

“Guests Are Here???” Quick Pulao

PROCESS : Heat oil or ghee, add whole spices, onion, and any vegetables you can grab in panic. Add washed rice, salt, and water, then cook until the rice absorbs everything and you stop panicking. Garnish with coriander if you want to look organized. It is the dish version of fake confidence, and it works.

Oreo Maggi (My personal fav)

PROCESS : Boil Maggi, then ruin it with crushed Oreos, a little milk, and the kind of confidence that should be studied by scientists. Stir until it becomes a sweet-salty crime scene. Serve immediately before common sense kicks in.